Monday, August 24, 2009
What She Don't Know...
You think that if she knew, that it honestly would...
You think that you really have that much of an effect on her, that she would marry you right now if she could.
You think that you're her pride and joy & she does only as she should
You think you have a hold on her, because you got the goods
You think shes safe to sleep with without a hood
You think she told you her true number... no smart girl would.
You think that shes the one for you when yal are together
You think that it's only on her, when you are a part.
You think she believes your every fucking move.
You think that she cares you said "i love you" from the start.
You think she thinks it's love when you question her daily "to- do's".
You think she really does'nt know what you do in the dark.
You think that she thinks shes the only one you take to "that park"
You think you put her on to it all and more.
You think that she ain't been there before... this girls a pro, mindset of a whore.
You think what she don't know, won't hurt her.
You think she'd let you get away with murder.
You think she wouldn't hurt a fly
You think shes sexy when she gives you the eye
You think you're safe when you're around her
You think you're in a better place, any time you encounter her.
You think you can tell her, you just chilled at that party
You think she believes you... because we're so cute arent we?
You think that your drunk ass got off with a free pass
You think you got away with it... because she let you slap her ass.
You think she'll never leave you & she really cares if it lasts.
You think that if your secret is well kept you'll keep her
You think she's impressed by the words and things you do.
You think she'll actually replace her real daddy with you.
You think she gon' let you just play her for the fool.
You think so slow, as if your braincells have mealt.
You think as fast as you can, with the cards you've been dealt...
... this bitch has got the better hand.
so promise to yourself to never be confused with wear i stand.
luckily you ain't put that ring on alisha's hand.
in all honestly she's done all she can... the feelings that she still carries for you have gone bland...
her man loves her, but fuck it, her heart beats slow
and whatever is done in the dark, rises to light fo sho :)
so be careful what you do, who you do or say it to...
for you must remember i'm already 5 fucking steps ahead of you.
-Love Always,
Your Pride and Joy
Sunday, June 14, 2009
21 & Up
with only goals that shoot upward,
like a smooth silver gun n’ pow!
Goes her dreams, just like the bullet
Toward the sun n’ has no limitations
So she keeps on runnin on the road
Shes always imagined, as life takes a toll
And one day someone tells her…
Hunny Chil’ your getting old.
But grandma I’m young, I’ve got time
don’t you see… I still dance in
The club to the songs they play on MTV.
Well, baby that may be the case, but note:
If a nice young man comes your way, you
Just might want to tag him and call it a day.
. Keep on baby, whicho’
Badd self, wearing your short dresses and
Dancing to the left to the left. You need to
Calm down and pray to God that he sends you
A man of strength courage and wisdom, whose willing to
Give you ONLY a crown.
Not what your attracting, nothing more than a Clown.
No pun intended but I’ve got work to do, this isn’t the
1920’s boo, I wasn’t created to work in the kitchen,
I’ve got student loans to payback, & for that beamer im still Wishin’.
I know where I’m going and I know where I be,
You think I got time to be datin- as if life is free.
Boys are a distraction, I’ve had one once before…
All they do is hurt your heart and throw you out the door.
A true man would never do that to you, while you become better
He will support you, a true man is priceless so, he’ll be able to afford you.
A true man would never lay a hand on you,
But might love to see a specific brand on you.
He takes good care of the family he knows
and has no problem with spiritual growth.
He takes heed to fine art and knows his history, loves
Great travel and a good father to his kids he’ll be.
A true man knows how to communicate and be a good companion.
He knows how to monogamously date and will know when to grab for your hand n’
Even though all of this sounds too good to be true…
As you shake your head in doubt, just know it’ll never happen to you.
I feel sorry for you grandbaby, because at this rate you’ll never know
The heart of a true man, because you’ll be doing your own thing aka ignorant and slow.
That’s what you want right… so go buy some pepper spray so you can put up your own fight. By choosing to do this on your own, you’re waiving your rights to be protected by your knight. While a true man falls in love with a girl you’ll soon despite. But, you’re young and in college, so your methods must be right.
And as those independent always do, eventually pick up the phone to see if he still wants to come through. And he’ll miss her phone call because he’s busy committing and saying I DO.
Well, grandma what you are saying is making me blue… so I must find a man that is faithful and true. I promise I won’t rush, but like you said, if he comes I won’t blush.
If I like him, I’ll take his offer and maybe there’s a chance he’ll be like my father.
I promise to never be afraid of what he might bring and be able to do for me and I for he.
I vow to never break that special bond and wonder like a lost child when he is away.
And only to God I will pray everyday that this true man will look my way, and this may be asking for too much, but please let him please be a tre :).
Learn to trust me as I will for you… I promise you’ll never want or need anything more than what I am willing to give and do for you.
Blogg Deeply,
Me.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Today.
Life is Good guys... realllll good. I know its seems fast, but this NEW MAN in my life is everything I think I need. We will have to see where it goes... no jumping the gun with this one. I'm up late talkin' on the phone with him now, so shhhh i gotta go lol. Love you guys!
I'm OUT!
Vanz
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Growing Pains
You were right... "I am torn in between the two". Ok, I admit it... I like him. I am just really scared because I don't know how much he likes me back. I mean, you can hang out with someone all day and they could see you totally different than you see them. It's happened too many times in the past. I think "I want in". Whatever that means... :). But, this is the last week of school, had a great semester, stayed focused and kept my eye on the prize. I am not going to stress any of this over the summer... if I see him... I see him. If not, it wasnt meant to be lol.
Im excited about what could happen in the future though, and even if this doesnt go where I'm thinking... it might. (omg) I will have learned so much about myself. Age aint nothin but a number, whatttt?! okay im done :). it is literally 6am on a saturday morning and havent been to sleep yet, but you stayed on my mind. Out of all people... really though? Why you... you are a mess. Or maybe its me. Over the past couple of months I have learned to be so much more comfortable in my own skin, I can talk about stuff I would never have talked about before, I have learned to keep my personal life personal, I guess thats why they call it that, and talk to my mom about very important stuff nowadays. I've always wanted that type of relationship with my parents so "you" have helped me develop that, without even knowing it haha. And right now, I'm working on somethings that I have developed over the years... bad habits and communication issues. Guys have never really asked me to express every aspect of how i feel before... and for the first time, that was my only option.
If anything I am not heading toward a relationship physically, but mentally... just like my closest friends- you gotta have some sense. Thank God you do. for the most part lol (wait, ive taken that too far :)
Watever... okay Im done and off of my tangent (shouldnt have done that), but i really needed to write.
SUMMERSUMMERSUMMER TIME
Raleigh Aggie Community Service- on the rise
I really need to find a job for the summer... money has been tight and this semester will be the last time that ever happens. Not working is not cute... especially when you don't have a boo.
Why have my homegirl and I not found an apartment yet??? are we serious (Allen) Yes. we are. Gotta get it together in the next 5 days, bc by then we will be in RaH-Lay.
TRAVELING PlANS
ATL ;) i miss my lovelys.
VA BEACH- maybe ill meet me a military man ^for the love of the kids^
CHICAGO- step for me *do it big for the 25th bday Brandi*
LOUISIANA- aww grandma :) can't wait to see you
PHILLY- my gansta side. & my charece.
hmmmm... wait, why did I promise all of those people I would come see them this summer, i will need a sponser for this... no plane tickets set in stone yet. I guess thats what cars are for :) windows dwn listenin to my Miguel Jontel.
i need to add GREENSBORO to that list.
OH soooo after my roomate (exclusive) and I sign this lease and we cant move in until a week after school starts... who are we going to live with. Uhmph, can i stay with you?! :)
Awww its 6:30am now and the sunset is so prettttyyyy! I don't even want to go to sleep, I want to talk to somebody... I know my mom is asleep, as well as my sister, my girls, my guys... shit. && by the time everybody else gets up, I'll be knocked out. yea lets wrap this up.
WAIT, can't forget about the SWINE FLU!!!
360,000 people die from the Human Flu per year = every 365 days (not a big deal)
150 deaths from the Swine Flu = we should evacuate
Why don't people run around crazy like this for the HIV/AIDs epidemic- I feel as though we should. bc it is pretty serious. They should start selling masks and condoms together in the stores as a joint package.
OH and when I saw this... I felt some type of way- I think I fell in love with her 100x more than I already am! Look at my Michelle! ;) she is a Diva.
Alot of people are upset because she wore these $540.00 pair of kicks to a charity event... but I mean, she is a pretty highclass housewife :) lol jk, no, but really... if you work that hard on a day to day basis... your husband has put your family's life on jeopardy for the past 2 years now... she should be able to wear what ever type of shoes she wants to wear. Those are her chillin' shoes. Jeeze America... give "Chelle" a break! Would you prefer white/whites? or maybe the classic mom keds? lol.
Okay its almost 7am. I need to go to bed, so I can pretend I wasnt up all night delerious, and I wanna go to the cafe before 2 bc I have no food in my room.
PS: Morgan you were gorgeous at your prom!!!!! you rocked it! I love you sis.
Okay until next time... it is what it is ;)
Goodnight
Love,
ME.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
My "Southern Bell" Sweetheart
Grandma, I miss you; & it is as simple as that
You walked so closely with God that I have no worries of where you are now
I look up to you and hope that you will look over me, each and every day for the rest of my life. You are now with your daughter and you share the same pink ribbon... I have one pinned to me too, that reminds me so much of you ;)
Nevertheless, this Valentine's Day... i will spend it will you. Who knew that you would be my 2009 boo? :) Yesssss.... forever and for always, I love you.
Yours Truly,
ME
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Dear January
Monday, January 26, 2009
Comon' Matel!? What is the deal? lmao
Who the hell approved this???? Share A Smile With Becky????
Becky is suppose to be Barbie's new friend, to show all children that people come in all types of shapes, sizes and handicaps??? whoo knew? lol I guess I can see the point they were going for, but who gave her this name? Becky? she sounds handicapped even before you see her, and does her wheelchair have RIMS? hello? hahaha
Maybe I am just wrong for this, but what is next, Lazy Eyed Larry, Cripple Christine, One Legged Lucy... this is all so NOT okay.
And if you were a Barbie fan growing up... you are completely aware that Barbie was cool. Her friends were cool and her boyfriend was HOTT. Who didnt want Ken? So how is any young girl suppose to believe that Sportscar Drivin Barbie's new bestfriend will need a wheelchair attachment to go with her to the mall. I'm not convinced! Hahaha
Check her out!
This is her NEW Beetle 09! Clearly we can see that Barbie is Booshi... I don't see a wheelchair ramp extension on it either... how will Becky ride?
But I feel as though we can come to the conclusion that Barbie doesnt like Becky and never will... I mean, look at her! hahhaha
Yours Truly,
Me.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
My Baby...
DALLAS
you cost me too much money
you piss everywhere, thank god u poop outside
you bark at walls and bite a badd bite.
but, you are growing on me i suppose... i think i brought u into my life too early honestly, but it is a decision that i made and will live with. you'r not going anywhere... I dnt think lol. and as soon as I can move into my own place, u can come too and not be popped on the butt for those simple puppy things u do. i miss u while im away :( but its okay... thats my lil mut and stinky butt.
PS: currently having thoughts of finding this lil boy a hott lil girl friend... she must come with all her shots, dog stuff and be free... but im looking. :)
This may have been the stupidest blogg ive ever written in my life... but im feeling scatterbrained right now... so yea. ill be back with something that makes more sense later. LAY OFF ME hahaha