Its hard to call yourself happy when you are continually getting defeated by things in your life... I'm only happy when I am taken away from here, so anytime I have the opportunity to be taken away ... I go. There is a skeleton in my closet that I have been hiding for an extremely long time, and I wonder if it's worth putting out on the table... will I become more at ease? I'm scared that if I expose my most deepest tragedy, that I'll get looks, stares, hatred, laughs, grunts, and unacceptance. I havent gone to church in a while... so I'm going to go this coming up Sunday, because this portion of my life has got to get better... for me to get better. Damn, I want to just let it out... but I can't. Why are secrets about yourself so easy to keep... to hide... to wrap yourself up in... to pray that they'll go away. I'm not a liar... just ashamed. I don't need a break... I just want to see the light again. God... do something.
Love,
Me.
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