Everlasting Epiphany

Have you ever been alive and didn't know it?
Ever cried inside and never showed it?
Ever laughed too aloud... for you couldn't hold it?
Ever slept when you should have been awake
& when you woke up someone had took your place?

Ever stared in the mirror at your own face
Ever thought about when you identified with you race
Ever felt like you didnt get a chance to plead your case.

Have you ever lost yourself and found yourself in the same week?
Have you ever been confused about the ways of which you speak?
Have you ever been told by someone your attitude just wreaked?

Ever been so angry you couldnt stand yourself
Ever been so bad you wanted to beat your own ass with a belt
Ever wanted to not care about anything & melt
Ever thought about your fathers face when he sees him lift your dress as he goes under for your garder belt

Have you ever been scared to dream big because you might not make it
Have you ever thought about wasting a risk if you did not take it
Have you ever felt like love was overrated.

Ever been promised everything under the stars
Ever been so deep in love you blacked out and saw mars ...


It is sheer good fortune to miss somebody long before they leave you.
I miss him when he's here
No person is yours forever
We are only Gods'
But as long as we exsist in this weather
We must try to beat the odds
The heart is moist when held
And can slip out of your hand when dealt
At once I knew it beat
Didnt realize my heart had no rhythm
until my baby swept me off my feet



Once regarding love as possesive
a simple way to take advantage
I dated, unaware of how i'd manage
Love is quiet as it's kept
A secret to many
Once youre in it, you dont share it
The way he keeps me, has made me bare it
It shows all over my face to my toes
I bath in it
won't let it go

I don't want more than I have
When we get greedy we get down on our luck
Many marraiges fall apart over a buck
Love is only as good as the lover
He loves honestly
She said wicked people love wickedly
and yet stupid people love stupidly
So if he loves me honestly, he can have all of me
and If i were a poet to people i'd be rich
I write only for myself, so far i see this fit
Random acts of kindness from me to you
I had to learn to accept his hand when i was blue
I had to learn to stand down when i knew
He taught me how to speak a different language
my communitation skills are fancy as if i came from cambridge

he knows me well
he's got it down pact
he's found that spot beginning at my neck alllll dwn my back
i lie awake in the bed
he wakes too
i moved too
yea he saw that
on our relationship i got his back
love jones love jones
what are we gonna do
i hate living 45 minutes away from you
its tough being by yourself all the time
when all you have is your best friend on your mind
take time to be alone, for its good and true
but in reality i just want to be with you
he'll tell me he loves me five times a day
each time its said i see a gorgeous ray
my sunshine my sunshine, that you are
im glad our love is not sub par
i am near when i seem far
we sacrifice now for one day a house and two cars
i want to reach new heights with you
so lets let this happen
no shade, be my captain.
i love him more than he'll ever know
if he read this blog, i'd blush no more.

forever yours,

Vantreese

maybe im MISSING something.

I am no longer confused as to what i need to do
I am no longer confused as to what i want to do

I feel like jumping off of a cliff :-( , as in the highest
elevation known to a mountainous range
but, not in order to create a crimescene... but, to just
SIMPLY start over and detatch my mind from all
referential realms and illusions I once knew.

I don't know what I was thinking for the past, almost
twenty years of my life. I must concur that I was indulged
in a "wo"man-made, self driven hurrincan... category four, that
clearly I have been complacent with.

What I thought I knew...
Humans are the most complex creatures on this earth
Humans fall in love
Humans are the only creatures able to create beneficial ideas for their futures

An illusion.
which is wrong.

We are biologically animals such as any creature on this earth
So, does that make love and the thought of love, nothing more than
a "political" plan. I mean, think about it... it creates structure and limits
class confusion. Are we really made for these "relationships" that we continue
to put ourselves in.

I'm beginning to believe that love can't really be, what we've thought it to be...
if it seems to become and yet end so quickly.
It can't.

Past and failed relationships were pointless and a wast of my time. Yes, I learned alot, but when I think about them... I feel like I didn't neccessarily need them. I wanted them. And in the end after they have run their course... I have become no more excited about new and future relationships.

Is monogamy really biologically possible... today?
or has it ever been?
will we ever know? probably not.

It seems to me that very few people are faithful anymore and it seems to me that alot of people are becoming okay with the thought of that, when entering relationships. Compatibility seems irrelevant and in alot of cases, many relationships are based off of simple fascination and sexual attraction. Which is a shame, based off of the "illusions". I understand exitentialism now. Never thought I would. Check it out, if you don't.

And... for the SLIM remaining amount of those who dwell on love over lust and respect the completing of one another when in this LoVe spell idea... they/we may be out of date...luck... and our minds. lol.

But in the meantime...

ROCK ON ;-)

yours truly,
ME